Thursday 6 February 2014

The Give & Take

Do you have a ‘junk’ room that used to be a spare room but now you even wonder if there’s still a bed in there at all? Or a loft that may become the lounge if one more thing gets put in there ‘just in case’? A garage that wouldn’t fit another push bike (don’t think I’ve ever actually spoken that phrase ‘push bike’) let alone a car or a shed that has a padlock on for the purpose of keeping the stuff in rather than anyone out?

We have an office that is rapidly becoming that room!

We are a nation of hoarders and I think the financially hard times we have all gone through (and still going) have done nothing to discourage this - we are holding on to broken, tired, surplus items for ever longer.

I am guilty of this, thinking…”I’ll fix that at some point, it’s a shame to just throw it away”; or “you never know when that empty pot might come in handy for some knickknacks. Some things I throw in a craft box pretending I’ll one day sit down with the children and get creative, like my torn denim skirt! The craft box is overflowing!

This was my take-away box collection a couple of weeks ago:

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But it isn’t just me that is responsible for not letting go. I am the lucky recipient of other people’s unwanted items because they *think* they are letting go by seeing it go to a ‘good home’. “I was having a clear out the other day and came across this which I thought was a shame to throw out so I’ve brought it round for you”. Yeah thanks!

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good hand-me-down. My daughter’s wardrobe flourishes with gorgeous (and a few not so gorgeous) clothes which people have so kindly donated. I love getting clothes that I probably wouldn’t have afforded brand new or even ventured into the shop where they were purchased. I’ve been very lucky with the clothes Millie has received. In the same vain, the office includes a mountain (and I mean mountain) of clothes waiting to be sorted so I can pass on.I’m all for a bit of recycling!

For this reason, I can’t say no or ask them to stop. I don’t want them to think I’m ungrateful so I take to the drab with the fab, then add them to the pile in the office that I’ll eventually sort and take to charity shop, tip or boot sale! Eventually!

What’s more, I know that if I ask them to stop, the next month I’ll say “I wish I had an antique wooden coffee table” and someone will say “oh, I got rid of one of those last week because you said you didn’t want anymore of my seconds”.

So why can’t I just say no to some of the stuff and accept the others? Because they don’t ask before bringing round they just bring it and if I say no and ask them to take it back with them I can see the crushing disappointment on their face or they try to persuade me that my life is really missing the plastic salad servers or they say “just take it to a charity shop if you don’t want it”. Sigh! On the pile it goes!

I’ve tried to ask them to stop! Well actually, I’ve threw a strop when pregnant! “No more!” I pleaded to my Mum once. She was hurt, I knew she was. I rang and apologised. 

Why don’t people just phone and ask first? I’d politely say no thank you or yes please and that would be it! Even if they give me a sales pitch to go with it, I can say I’ll think about it (and I will) and then come back to them with an answer before it even enters my house. It’s when it is dropped into my hands with the assumption I’ll want it that I find difficult.

How do you say yes please to some and thank you but no to others and get them to leave your house still in possession of the item? Answers on a postcode please…or you can just use the comments at the end of this post!

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